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 2title: A Sad Post
 3description: >
 4    Something sad happened.
 5created: !!timestamp '2010-12-01 10:00:00'
 7    - sad
 8    - thoughts
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19I went and dressed sadly. It will show you pretty well how pipped I was when I
20tell you that I near as a toucher put on a white tie with a dinner-jacket. I
21sallied out for a bit of food more to pass the time than because I wanted it.
22It seemed brutal to be wading into the bill of fare with poor old Bicky headed
23for the breadline.
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27When I got back old Chiswick had gone to bed, but Bicky was there, hunched up
28in an arm-chair, brooding pretty tensely, with a cigarette hanging out of the
29corner of his mouth and a more or less glassy stare in his eyes. He had the
30aspect of one who had been soaked with what the newspaper chappies call "some
31blunt instrument."
33"This is a bit thick, old thing—what!" I said.
35He picked up his glass and drained it feverishly, overlooking the fact that it
36hadn't anything in it.
38"I'm done, Bertie!" he said.
40He had another go at the glass. It didn't seem to do him any good.
42"If only this had happened a week later, Bertie! My next month's money was due
43to roll in on Saturday. I could have worked a wheeze I've been reading about
44in the magazine advertisements. It seems that you can make a dashed amount of
45money if you can only collect a few dollars and start a chicken-farm. Jolly
46sound scheme, Bertie! Say you buy a hen—call it one hen for the sake of
47argument. It lays an egg every day of the week. You sell the eggs seven for
48twenty-five cents. Keep of hen costs nothing. Profit practically twenty-five
49cents on every seven eggs. Or look at it another way: Suppose you have a dozen
50eggs. Each of the hens has a dozen chickens. The chickens grow up and have
51more chickens. Why, in no time you'd have the place covered knee-deep in hens,
52all laying eggs, at twenty-five cents for every seven. You'd make a fortune.
53Jolly life, too, keeping hens!" He had begun to get quite worked up at the
54thought of it, but he slopped back in his chair at this juncture with a good
55deal of gloom. "But, of course, it's no good," he said, "because I haven't the
58"You've only to say the word, you know, Bicky, old top."
60"Thanks awfully, Bertie, but I'm not going to sponge on you."
62That's always the way in this world. The chappies you'd like to lend money to
63won't let you, whereas the chappies you don't want to lend it to will do
64everything except actually stand you on your head and lift the specie out of
65your pockets. As a lad who has always rolled tolerably free in the right
66stuff, I've had lots of experience of the second class. Many's the time, back
67in London, I've hurried along Piccadilly and felt the hot breath of the
68toucher on the back of my neck and heard his sharp, excited yapping as he
69closed in on me. I've simply spent my life scattering largesse to blighters I
70didn't care a hang for; yet here was I now, dripping doubloons and pieces of
71eight and longing to hand them over, and Bicky, poor fish, absolutely on his
72uppers, not taking any at any price.
74"Well, there's only one hope, then."
76"What's that?"
82There was Jeeves, standing behind me, full of zeal. In this matter of
83shimmering into rooms the chappie is rummy to a degree. You're sitting in the
84old armchair, thinking of this and that, and then suddenly you look up, and
85there he is. He moves from point to point with as little uproar as a jelly
86fish. The thing startled poor old Bicky considerably. He rose from his seat
87like a rocketing pheasant. I'm used to Jeeves now, but often in the days when
88he first came to me I've bitten my tongue freely on finding him unexpectedly
89in my midst.
91[My Man Jeeves by PG Wodehouse][MMJ]